Winter Of My Discouragement

It’s February bitchez. That means there’s a fresh …uh… face on my Bob’s Transmission Playmate calendar, and baseball Spring Training is just a couple of weeks away. The last two winters here in Misery have been pretty rough, with extended periods of bitter cold and plenty of precipitation, but so far this year, I’ve only had a snow shovel in my hand once, and for the most part, temperatures have been mild. I’ve even been riding the scoot to work some days. I’d be feeling pretty optimistic but for one thing.

A couple of hours north of here, the crazy caucasians are caucusing today. I should know better, but yesterday in the car I listened to some interviews with Iowa Trump supporters, and, as usual, I came away with that weird feeling that someone was playing a trick on me. Either I am being punked or I am on the precipice of some sort of psychotic episode. How can so many people speak so reverently about a carnival-barking, reality teevee asshole?

I’m fully aware that Republican politics have been post-factual for a while, and I’ve been arguing with religious folks most of my life, so I know people are capable of believing some truly outlandish things. But wow! The Donald has somehow tapped right into the lizard brain of our society.

At least three of the interviewees stated that the Donald was going to “take our country back.” As much as I yelled at the radio, the interviewer did not ask from whom.

One guy lamented the fact that, because of political correctness, he couldn’t talk about his white pride without being called a racist. I listened hard and I heard no laughter; I’m pretty sure he was dead serious.

One woman sounded positively giddy as she talked about how foreigners are pouring into this country to kill us, and the Donald is going to put a stop to all that. They really do believe Trump is going to build a wall tall enough to shade the desert southwest, and then send Mexico the bill for it. And apparently they believe Trump can make Mexico pay that bill through sheer force of will. (How do you say “Fuck off, Donald” in Español?)

These are the true believers, the face of the modern GOP base — undereducated, underpaid and angry, looking for some group to blame for their woes, whether it be the niggers, the Muslims, or big gummint. They are in thrall to a tough talking bully who thinks just as simply as they do, a man whose foreign policy can be boiled down to the aphorism: “If you’re not attacking, you’re losing.” These are the people who, if it weren’t for the liberal government they despise, would still be living without electricity and indoor plumbing. You know, morons.

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