Carnival Barker

What happens to our participatory democracy when Fox News Outrage Channel and the rest of the right-wing noise machine spend a couple of decades proclaiming that government is evil, greed is good, education and intelligence are elitist, scientists and teachers are anti-Amurkin, and we must all hate and fear the wicked brown immigrants? Eventually the target audience gets the message, and you end up with a fucking cartoon character leading in the polls for the Republican nomination for preznit.

In Alabama, 20,000 people showed up to a rally for Donald Trump. He has tapped right into the hateful core of the Amurkin right wing, the teabagger rump of the Republican party. The people who send you those chain e-mails with pictures of Michelle’s husband with a Hitler mustache or a bone in his nose and a spear. You know, sweet little old ladies from Pasadena. Like this one.

Cheryl Burns, 60, was on a road trip from California when she heard that Trump would be in Alabama. She turned her car around and got in line, warning people of what happened to states when liberals took them over.

“There is no more California,” Burns said. “It’s now international, lawless territory. Everything is up for grabs. Illegal aliens are murdering people there. People are being raped. Trump isn’t lying about anything — the rest of the country just hasn’t found out yet.”

Wait… What now? It just so happens, I have a friend – I’ll call him Chuck – who recently moved to California. I’ve spoken to Chuck by telephone several times since his move, and not once has he mentioned any concerns that the state he resides in – one of our largest and most populous – might no longer exist. In fact, just a couple of days ago, Chuck was extolling the benefits and advantages of his new home compared to his old one here in Misery. He went on and on about things like low humidity and no mosquitos and good wine. He even waxed poetic about how dust from the ongoing severe drought and smoke from the wildfires combined to render spectacular sunsets. (Chuck is a glass is half-full kind of guy.)

I realize this is merely anecdotal evidence. It’s entirely possible that California truly is gone, and Chuck was speaking to me with a government minder at his side, perhaps with a gun to Chuck’s – or his wife’s – head. But while it’s true that I no longer watch the Fox News Outrage channel or listen to hate radio, I find it hard to believe that no other media outlet would cover a story this big.

No, I think it’s far more likely that Cheryl Burns is just nuttier than Chinese chicken salad. But this rally was in Alabama, so you just knew some of the local morons would really bring the crayzee. Like this guy.

“Hopefully, he’s going to sit there and say, ‘When I become elected president, what we’re going to do is we’re going to make the border a vacation spot, it’s going to cost you $25 for a permit, and then you get $50 for every confirmed kill,’ ” said Jim Sherota, 53, who works for a landscaping company. “That’d be one nice thing.”

See, Jim just wants to kill him some brown people and make a few bucks in the process. Besides, killing Messicans sure beats the hell out of running a weed whacker all day. And he knows Donald Trump won’t let big gummint get in the way by creating regulatory roadblocks and taxing his bounty. No sir, Trump will let the free market work!

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