Given my much better but still healing franken-fingers, I wasn’t expecting to get called up for active duty until this year’s War on Christmas, but due to multiple leaks of classified information, our freedom fighters lost the element of surprise, and instead faced a heightened state of alert on the ground in and around our targeted objective. Rather than scrub the mission, our commander-in-chief decided to attack in plain sight, calling up all able-bodied forces.
I did not accompany the ground troops on the trek across the hot desert. My injury limited my participation to logistics and support duties at
an abandoned Wal-Mart one of our forward operating bases, but I can state with pride that we were greeted as liberators by the natives — those who noticed anyway.
It may be decades before the true and full story of this conflict can be told. All I can say for now is Mission Accomplished! Though there are still some mopping-up actions occurring in the outlying provinces against pockets of dead-enders, major ground operations have ceased. Texas is now part of Amurka. (Though, for the life of me, I don’t know why we wanted it.)