Welcome To Amurkastan

I just don’t know what to think of this. Apparently there are unnamed parties here in Misery who would have us secede from the Union. Parties that have enough money to pay for a billboard, but cannot afford a map. (Or do not know what the word contiguous means.)

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I’m sure those unnamed parties actually mean Mississippi instead of Michigan, what with Michigan being, ahem, you know, uhh… Detroit and uhh… all those people.┬áBut still, where does a stupid idea like this come from? And who is dumb enough to spend money promoting it?

It seems like my birth state has been coming up around here a lot lately. I can’t help but notice that this proposed redneck Utopia conspicuously almost completely surrounds Arkansas. I’m torn between being insulted that Arkansas wasn’t good enough to be invited into this new country, and worried that the rest of the US would just throw Arkansas in when the other states secede to save on border fence.

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